It's easy to rag on the Hemsworths, especially the non-Chris ones, but the fact is that Chris Hemsworth was pretty much note-perfect in the first Thor movie.

Better movie wrestler name for a real-life wrestler: Thunderlips, or Bonesaw McGraw?

Ironic, really. Before he regenerated into Eric Roberts he was already turning into a magical teleporting cat.

Sorry, I should have said "a perfectly cromulent substitute".

Oh, come on. I thought Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star had set the modern benchmark for terrible movie reviews. Although I've never seen it, and I did once try to watch Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever when it was on TV and gave up very quickly indeed.

She's proud of the credit, but the fact is Dahlia Sky played a tree. And not the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, either; she was the Tree of Life, in the background of, like, three scenes, and she had no lines.

You've got really weird on us lately. Like, a lot of what you say actually makes sense.

I believe an old Simpsons quote is widely considered an acceptable substitute for original thought.

I thought Snooki had returned to the Kingdoms Below for a diplomatic marriage to the prince of the Lava Warriors.

That's the same subplot. He gets the kitten to apologise for losing the sex tape. He gets onto heroin because the kitten doesn't convince Lizzie to forgive him. He gets sick from the cat's shit. And it all starts with Renton switching the tapes.

Any other actor would have merely been a vehicle for Wade Garrett's beautiful hair in Roadhouse. Only Sam Elliot could have stolen every scene he was in from that glorious mane.

Not roasted. Regardless of what actually happened on screen, when talking about the film you claim he was deep-fat fried. These are Glaswegian cannibals, remember.

Man, that was embarrassing for the people who were eating him at the time.

I tried early on, but all I could find was long-distance cycling. And even though that's the only Olympic sport in which I participate in any way whatsoever, it is just incredibly boring to watch.

His cannibal followers, don't forget. He also plays them Siouxsie's "Spellbound".

I like the Skarsgårds, but how many of them do we actually need? Especially when they're helping keep Robert Shaw out of the top ten.

It is one of the purest and most beautiful films ever made, and possibly Neil Marshall's finest hour.

Please do not say mean things about Doomsday. It is an underrated gem and I love it with the same sincerity that Neil Marshall loves 80s B-movies.

*Points and screams like Donald Sutherland at the end of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake*

For some reason you've got me mentally comparing her to Scarlett Johansson, another ridiculously gorgeous woman with a superhero franchise to pay the bills, only Ms Johansson started out with weird indie films, and still does them occasionally, and I think the point I'm trying to work around to is this: Is there any…