Jesus didn't die for our sins after all? Mmmkay.
She's obviously much smrter than us and we should not question her.

Don't be a pussy.

You didn't notice the picture up top?

Makes me sad to think that kids these days won't have the benefit of full-sized yellow pages to lean on while getting it up the butt. An iPad just doesn't work as well.

Holy shit, we've seen what they do to non-members, what kind of hell do they put their fellow church members through? Nickelback on repeat??

Has she touched your penis yet so you can finally tell her the truth about The Donald and his super-amazing, fanastic business skills?

Just read that his daughter said there will be no funeral, probably to avoid any protestors. Such a great man that Fred Phelps is that even in death he's too much of a chicken-shit to take what he had no problem dishing out in life.

I'm fine with the sex stuff, but subjecting babies to TheBeef is the kind of child abuse that will scar them forever.

Back in jr. high my algebra teacher had us play hangman to kill some time one afternoon. Gleefully he put up a three letter word _ _ _. I immediately answered PAT. He looked at me crestfallen because I found the word with all three letters, but in the wrong places. Then I answered APT. The teacher said that was…

It's during the Battle of Winterfell. You just haven't read that part yet.

Gone With The Wind was not about the Civil War. It was about the War of Natal Aggression.

Virtually

ABC Family
A New Kind Of Family
The Kind Of Family That Kidnaps You And Holds You Prisoner In Their Compound

He's GOOPy like that.

They better let Geoff drop the chips on Plinko with his wonky arm.

Mmmm….pie

Get the fuck out of my dance!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus has that sweet, old Louis-Dreyfus money. I assume that people who come from very old money have access to the fountain of youth which is why she not only doesn't age, but seems to get better looking every year.

I turn 40 next year, so still 25 years until I have to start watching CBS to get my Social Security checks. Will the AV Club have recaps of Two and a Half Men during this time to help me prepare?

In addition to How I Met Your Dad CBS has also ordered The Good Husband and The Intelligent Design Theory