"MY GOD!!!!!! GET THE R. KELLY BALLOON AWAY FROM THE DORA THE EXPLORER BALLOON NOW! THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE!!!!!!"

A baby!?!?!?!?!?

He would make an excellent Anne Rice.

"Daniel Day-Lewis was arrested today for shooting crabs on a public beach with a large caliber revolver. The famous actor was bleeding profusely after being bitten by an ocelot the actor had been keeping as a pet."

One of the biggest accomplishments on Cocaine's resume has to be the early works of Stephen King.

I hope they don't follow the last books too closely. Instead I hope they take some of the cool ideas, characters, and settings and make an awesome series of movies or TV shows.

Fuck I miss that show.

How about I be one of the bad guys at the Dixie Pig?

They are the same person. Walter O'dim is Flagg and is like every bad guy. They all work for the Crimson King. If I remember it right.

Who is going to play Stephen King in this Dark Tower adaption? I would love to play the monster that hits Stephen with my van as part of the Crimson King's plan.

Oh come on baby can you dig your man?

I can't think of a famous actor who would be better at exhibiting a sexy menacing charm that Flagg needs.

Bill O'Reilly deserves some sort of genital warts that spreads to his face. Possibly from unsafe loofah usage.

If it makes you feel any better he was paid millions of dollars to make Anger Management the TV show.

Repeating a lame joke. You could write for this show.

I liked this show. I'm a regular watcher. I've said plenty of positive stuff in the past. This episode was terrible. The show is spinning its wheels. The problems with the show are getting worse not better. This episode sucks. Will Forte sucks. His faking an injury for sympathy was some stupid 2 1/2 Men…

That scene was terrible. It was unfunny. Poorly acted. Nonsensical. Real humans don't act that way. Will Forte's performance is nothing but hacky overacting and it isn't funny. If they already hate Tandy so much when he is obviously faking then why didn't one of those idiots tell him to fuck off with the…

My favorite C3PO joke is the one where Professor Farnsworth crushes him in his press.

How can you be a TV critic and not watch the best show on TV?

They are terrible movies. Combine that with them being the most disappointing movies ever I think makes for a compelling case they might be the worst movies ever made.