OBEY MY WANG AND TAKE THE KEYS MORTAL! NOW SHOW YOUR WANG TO THE ZOMBIE AND OPEN DOOR FOR THIS I DESIRE!

Hey is anyone listening to the Lil B/Chance The Rapper mixtape? I am enjoying it. Especially the songs We Rare and Last Dance.

That Death Star we are building is about 65% complete.

What I hate about Kanye is that he is a rapper with a high opinion of himself. He could learn a lot from Tim Tebow.

Like Josh points out though he is just trying to live a Biblical life and the Bible treats women pretty terribly.

ISIS. They have a goal. They have a plan. They have the strong morals that will get them where they need to be.

Baron Von Islamovich: You will tell me the location of the Omega device or I will torture your parents, Agent Solo!

I just refuse to believe Donald Trump would do anything for selfish reasons.

Give me that porno mag … bottle of Old Harper … box of condoms … some panty shields … that duck call….illegal fireworks — and a disposable enema.

Schadenfreude knows no season, all you need is the reason.

You don't even want to know what it takes to get them Duck Dynasty guys horny.

I like how he was working for The Family Research Council. I bet its pretty sweet getting paid a huge salary to be a total hypocrite.

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant

I heard in store prison they called you 'Sugar', 'cause you liked to give it out… so sweet.

I heard he bought an actual submarine with all that Subway cash so I'm jealous as fuck.

"Here is what they don't tell you Carol. Them birds? Some of them want to be hit." -Sully

She's real. She's my bitch of a sister.

Bees are nature's funniest animal. They are really small but they can hurt a human with their butt. The cost of being that funny? Death. But that is also kind of funny in a dark way. I bet bees love dark comedy.

It's pronounced gyro.

An actual good tout from the Amazon ad is David Simon's book Homicide. If you haven't read that or The Corner you should. They are great books.