Hannibal's new show proves his ceiling is as a sidekick.

I'd only watch a Shaft reboot if Aaron McGruder was writing it and directing it.

I have no idea what you are talking about. I have never seen this show. I just like throwing pizzas on homes that are currently listed for sale. It calms the voices.

I'm going to go throw a pizza on the roof.

Spoilers:

Cause the players gonna play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate
Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off

I'm an American. I've never jerked off in my life. When I'm horny I fuck freshly baked apple pies.

This guy has been in a lot of shitty movies so he deserves this.

Lists are important you stupid British goof. Let me tell you about a list you might have heard of it's called the Declaration of Independence and it says I don't need to take any crap from you stupid British fancy boys. Try it again and you'll be saying hello to *raises left fist* Ben Franklin and *raises right…

Wow British people are a bunch of fucking idiots. This list doesn't include Fargo, Unforgiven, or The Big Lebowski.

What a perfectly cromulent response.

Q: What does a Grateful Dead fan say when they run out of pot?

My favorite Jonah insult:

Hypocrisy at its finest. Every single human on Earth has said something stupid in private to our friends. Hulk Hogan is getting fired by a racist organization over something he said in the privacy of his home. I feel bad for Hulk.

I think it was a great move of Vince McMahon to make this announcement flanked by Mr. Fuji and Slick to show the WWE's commitment to racial diversity and sensitivity.

If the WWE is known for anything its the sensitive portrayal of minorities.

Hulk Hogan is the best type of racist. I've never gotten the impression Hulk is a racist in his public persona. Hulk has never run for public office so he'd have power over people where his secret racism could harm them. It's sad but who hasn't said something we regret on a sex tape with Bubba the Love Sponge? …

Tell your brother us pedophiles have better things to do than look at his ugly kids.

*begins eating a pro-understanding the teachings of Jesus hot dog*

*begins eating a pro-war hot dog complete with the ketchup of continued religious strife*