THE A.V. CLUB
I'm talking to….no one.

"Military school?! You lied to me!"

Duh! A challenge she could DO!

"Uh, hey, what about military school? It set my brother straight. Now he owns and operates a famous cave."

"The Soviet Union?….I thought you guys broke up?"
"THAT'S WHAT WE WANTED YOU TO THINK!"

Damn straight it is!

"Welcome back! I'm talking with the curator of the museum of TV and Television, Mr. John Winslow."
*Gets up and leaves just as Winslow's about to speak*

Homer: "Okay, once more. Where are we going?"

"What do you suppose the rent is on a hideout like that?"

BIG DADDY
AS SEEN IN 'PARADE' MAGAZINE

"Listen up, Big Daddy! You don't scare me! I'm three steps ahead of you!"

"Oh, what am I going to do?"

*looks at hand* LENNY=WHITE CARL=BLACK

Well some kind of farm animal anyway.

NEVER FORGET

Okay, gimme that, gimme it back!

"Hiya, Stretch, what's the good word?"

*stares into space while pouring shots of whisky*

"Smithers, I've just seen the most heroic dog on television. He pulled a toddler from the path of a speeding car, then pushed a criminal in front of it. Find this dog. I want to make him my executive vice president!"

"Aw, I can't believe we went through all that just to wind up with a tennis court."