…and growled that all the black labs and chihuahuas should go find their own fucking dog park.

Very entertaining. There's an artist named Pixeloo who used to do this with animated characters, and the results were part-awesome, part-terrifying.

Wait, you mean community theater isn't big-budget like Disney? Let's laugh at them because we are so hip and detached from it all!

And how much do you want to bet they'll portray the whole affair as light, wacky comedy?

Which is why he's my starting point for defining Sam Worthington. See? It all works out.

Ah, you're right. I was thinking it would've run alongside Tim & Eric, but now I see that Tim & Eric didn't start till 2007. Oh well. In my fantasy comedy league in which years don't matter, Stella would be thriving on Adult Swim right now.

Stella was genius. I maintain that it would've fared better on Adult Swim, which has always embraced absurdism. Comedy Central was just too traditional for a show like that.

Well, Cannibal Holocaust predated that by 15+ years, and I'm sure there were others. I'm talking more about the recent surge of found-footage movies, which was clearly born of Paranormal Activity's success.

300 was groundbreaking for its time, but like all trend-setting movies that are copied into parody, it doesn't hold up as well today. Similarly, after a gajillion found-footage horror movies, it's hard to explain to someone why the original Paranormal Activity was so terrifying.

Hey, I can identify Sam Worthington in a photograph. He's Joel Edgerton but with different eyes.

Yes, but sometimes doctors commit malpractice and actually take lives. Has Chance the Rapper ever taken a life? No. Therefore, he is infinitely better than doctors.

Can't wait to see what fabulous peasant dress Kylie Jenner wears to the trial!

The fact that all the dragon P.R. and plot-points always focus on Drogon makes me believe only one of two conclusions are possible:

That's disappointing. I was hoping you were going to show us a dragon with a great badonkadonk.

If it were another Zack Snyder movie, I'd laugh at their overconfidence. But I trust James Wan as a director. If anyone can make Aquaman a success, he can.

Yeah, seriously…fuck that guy you know nothing about. The nerve of him sharing an internet with you.

This looks good. This year has had so many interesting horror movies already. I thought 2016 was a recent high-water mark for horror, but 2017 could have it beat by mid-year.

That's stupid.

Anyone remember that old X-Men issue where he actually clawed Rachel Grey to keep her from killing the Hellfire Club's Black Queen in cold blood? That's how opposed to murder the dude was.

And now it's only a matter of time till some dork mentions that originally, Wolverine was intended to be an actual mutated wolverine.