If you want people to respect you and take your point seriously, be sure to end as many words as possible with "-tards."

Bengals was only team where Zubaz made sense!

Right. This wound up being priceless exposure for all of those readers of English-language American pop culture web site who want to order pizza in Japan.

Me grew up in Buffalo. Me guarantee you that ornament will be on many, many trees this year. That town have irrationally high levels of Bills fandom, and irrationally low levels of good taste. (see also: Zubaz caught on in big way there in '90s. For those of you too young to remember, please not ask parents, they…

Say it with me now: It can be two things!!!

Football works on exactly same principle!

Hiring people who not talented frowned upon. People pretty happy to see Frances McDormand in her husband's movies. And Rhea Butcher pretty funny comedian. Me can absolutely understand wanting to tour and make show together — relationship between two stand-ups with completely separate itineraries must be impossible.…

Me can see that, as it downbeat song. But for someone allergic to phony uplift at Christmas or any other time, "faithful friends who are dear to us / gather near to us once more" and "through years we all will be together / if fates allow" strike me as best expression of what holidays should be about.

NAFTA was bipartisan. And me have yet, in all of American history, to see politician or political party who perfect. Until one show up, me will consistently vote for people who make my life better, not worse. You may be tired of both, but majority of voters wanted to continue successes of past 8 years.

Except trolling on this article not criticism of her work, it "how dare AV Club give her column." That kind of venom not reserved for someone people just not find that funny. If that were case, people would just not read it, not show up every week to make angry comments.

Me live in Jersey City. Me have never heard of "outer" city, so me suppose it count as "inner." Me grew up in Buffalo, as economically depressed city as you could find by end of 20th century — it basically Detroit without GM. Reaganomics gutted Buffalo, as Republicans voted to give tax cuts to companies that ship jobs…

Yeah, me shower couple times a week, but A) me not sweat much, B) me made sure Mrs. Cookie was okay with that, and C) you know how long it take to dry all this fur?!?

He does "owe" people who pay him — this web site and alternative weeklies all over America — to actually do his job and write column they pay him to write.

Me should point out that Dan hand-picked those questions, presumably so he could give glib, unhelpful responses and not do any actual work this week.

Yeah, me thought woman whose partner not have orgasm in particular deserve more than one word answer. Why even give advice at all?

Hot take: Rowlf and John Denver singing "Have Self Merry Little Christmas" is best recorded Christmas song ever.

Yes, no straight person has ever dated co-worker or found work for their partner. Clearly Esposito is irredeemably awful. Why me not see it before?

So, 20 million people with health insurance, seven straight years of job growth, Depression averted, auto industry saved, Al Qaeda effectively gone, and ISIS on last legs are low bar because you not able to eat pretzel in school? Me not have soft pretzels in school and me somehow made it to college.

Me read headline and 3/4 of article before me realize this not Great Job Internet about someone who made own trailer that humorously misrepresent what kind of film this is.

ZE GOGGLES! ZEY DO NUTTING!!!