I'm a MONSTER!

Well, why not do something about it? I am a complete monster, after all.

What is with the crazy eating?

I don't like Andrew Dice Clay very much.

I've been banned two or three times. Go ahead. I don't give a fuck.

Why would he want to get up in front of people and say such a thing? That's at least as hideous as anything Limbaugh ever said.

Stay away from that Slayer web site! You can't handle it!

I've said this before - That Joke says a lot more about Bill Hicks than it does about Limbaugh.

That's a Good Joke!

Somebody make an Oxycontin joke even though that was more than a decade ago!

I just looked at a magazine and saw a picture of Alan Thicke! Oh!

Nah, you'd want to use the CNN or CBS News chart.

Fuck this, I'm worried about those poor people who went to the Slayer Web Site and were unexpectedly confronted with a picture of DONALD TRUMP! Oh, man, I cannot imagine their suffering and pain! I don't like Hillary Clinton but, Thanks to living in a decent Society, I don't have the slightest idea what she looks…

You're smart. Just calling her "Trainor" keeps it short.

They were waiting for someone who would really make a fool of himself and we could get a good laugh at their expense.

He knows he's talking to the AV Club.

She drives him CRAZY!!!

Let's give it back!

The Midnight Oil Singer? By "spooky" you mean "Awful"?

Wow, you have got me against the ropes. Oh, I cannot take it. Oh.