My facts not actually being true doesn't mean anything, because I feel I am right, and that's what matters.

Scientist says there are molecular differences in men's and women's taste in movies
— Every god damn newspaper

I enjoyed not reading the post, it had a bunch of words and stuff in it.

I don't know anything about AV Club writers, but I assume they are all young whippersnappers who've barely dropped out of college.

Old person confused by the Internet, news at 11.

Except in Saudi Arabia.

* Is arrested by a SWAT team for trademark infringement *

Yeah, Dr King.

Clearly only the first seven designs count as the golden era of Simpsons clothing, and furthermore…

Rembember crappy Simpsons merchandise? It's back, but no one was remotely close to clever enough to bring it back in POG form.

This documentary seems to suggest that there weren't: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

^Best joke in this comments section right here.

I always hear the name Edith with a ridiculous French accent like in 'Allo 'allo, so at least it's somewhat amusing.

What kind of monster forces their significant other to read a book? It's not like it's something you do together.

Bella to Beau is just impossibly cringe-worthy. We got it the first time.

This seems about right. In a better universe, PKD would be remembered like that, not the guy Hollywood goes to for cheap sci-fi ideas.

Nobody fucks with The Jesus (And Mary Chain)

Communism is like Harry Potter in that they are both nice fantasies for children, but you should really leave that behind when you grow up.

Fitting, as single socks are often used together with willies.

She held an impassioned speech to the leaders of the world in the UN assembly to implore them to stop you from doing this, you monster.