Nothing reminds you how disappointing the Present is like calling a goddamn phone a "droid" and comparing an SUV to futuristic, space-travelling starships.

If you're "going forward," it's best to be "proactive" about it … I'm fired, aren't I?

I'll field this one … shut up, little girl.

I LOVE things with a vibe!

That detail would've helped, no?

Where's the Albee obituary?

Mm hmm, and you call him 'Two Tubes,' even though he OBVIOUSLY has a third tube … Well, Seymour, you're an odd fellow …

"Star Trek" is about speculative science fiction, Simpson, it has little if anything in common with motorcycle stunts or a disobedient whale.

I think we've firmly established that everyone's pretty okay with every last datum and pixel of the product slowly dribbling out over a two-year period.

Genius, 'Star Wars' fan, girl's name … Kimmel, PLEEEASE have this kid back on when he's in high school. I worry …

Wow, you've got a serious cheek. This sort of opinionatin' really seemed to work when O'Neal did this sort of thing. Now, it's just questionable.

Ooh! A mystery series where sexy investigators travel around identifying people/things with strange powers? This could change everything.

Shouldn't the kid have written to Disney? (Disney having acquired romance from Hallmark in a hostile takeover some time in the Nineties…)

I don't pay REAL close attention, but that guy was brought back to life, right? For TV?

I could never presume to tell you how you should interpret a joke, I'll just say that Barney's titling it that doesn't make sense in the internal logic—that is, the scenario seems serious to him and the Film Fest viewers and is only laughable to us, the real-world audience. It's much more believable to me, knowing…

I see. When those conceptual images first surfaced, it was all, "I've seen everything I need to see, this movie can't be made FAST ENOUGH." Now, with reports flyin' and conflictin', it's, "Considering we don't know anything about Blomkamp's Alien …"

Now I'm criticizing word choice in Internet dispatches about tweets. What have I become?

Doesn't 'gait' mean movement?

… uh oh, better go for the flapping dickie …

I've been waiting since a TV ad during 'Gotham' in October: I dub thee, 'Men in Bloke.' And I'm out!!!!