Yayyy, we all get participation trophies!

pickle root for underdog
pickle can relate

Oh, look at Mr. Fancy Pants over here with his new car.

The Weasel is baaaack, ba-aaaby

Pickle sez that wuz real.

but his emails!

And intelligence.

Sarah?

Oh, trust me, Pa Killjoy exposed us to many a terrifying movie as youths.

Next up, Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

Haven't driven in a while, but I, too, suck at parallel parking. Too much math.

It appears that the scientists at Monster Energy Drink with help from AXE Body Spray Labs LLC thawed one of the motherfuckers out.

Sue me, you magnificent sonofabitch.

Darwin Awards twitter feed is aight

s2 was just one long, shitty funeral.

I still can't believe so many people operate motor vehicles daily. Terrifying.

It's in the fine print. Always read the fine print.

For the good of the land. Gotta try to cut down on that debt to the, uhhh…Iron Bank?

Scarred for life! Nice job, pops.

Come now, we are all capable of being terrible, from time to time.