That would probably make them child sex offenders.

Actually, that statement, at one point, was much more truthful than you think it is.

http://niklausgerber.com/co…

This my be my favorite episode in the history of television and I haven't seen it yet.

My dad also smokes sometimes. I'm trying to figure out what's going to end up killing him. I should make a list.

Hey! I only like psychopaths if they don't have crazy eyes, ok!

I can sit in the same clothes for like a week.

That happens to me all the time, dude. I leave things there for several months. There was a mysterious smell in my room and turns out that it was an exposed bag of boiled eggs that had been there for a month or so. I leave bags of fruit in my room all the time.

I'm ok with eating pretty much anything warm/meaty.
Also, last week, I didn't shower for like 5 days.
I eat chicken like it's my last meal.
You know how some people don't like Cheetos because of the cheeto dust on your fingers. I love cheetos mostly for that. I like licking my fingers.

I can't look at food right now. I just ate some steak and I'm really full.

He forgot to tell me too. Men, amirght

That's why they call you Irony-ful Dave

I'm pretty sure we have a troll in our midst so you probably shouldn't take any down votes seriously.

Daaaaaaaaamn, son.

That is a legit question, dude.

The sing-off was AH-MAZING

Good Burger

This really messed with my head for a while. I hope you're happy now.

Happy birthday, Doc. I'm a little tired so I don't know how to liven this up…..

WHAT! I DO NOT TELL YOU WHAT TO DO! SHUT UP