I don't even want to know what a flash mob is.

The alien has a sweet heavenly voice, like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night, like Urkel!

Did Leno get better ratings than Letterman?

I've already installed a webcam in the last stall of the men's room.

Only chumps buy retail.

So you are saying that if he appeared during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, he would take the form of a giant Slor?

Yeah, but I heard they don't have the final edit on the sound.

Or Salvatore Dali.

Hot sauce does taste better squeezed out of a douchebag.

Was Galactus a douchebag shilling hot sauce?

I like to get a good churn in, now and then.

Technically, Superman could replace everyone in the Justice League.

There was a fair amount of incest rape in the director's cut of Herbie Goes Bananas.

Them are makin' a pornographic movie, Texas-style.

She missed the sword in the stone double entendre.

Community grade gave it a B+, albeit, with only 42 reviews.

I've got crumbs in my pubic hair, does that count?

Someone call DiCaprio, I smell a sequel.

Mmmm…jerked keyboards.
*drools*

If you are having a stroke, take two aspirins and call an ambulance.