I had to kill the iPod Shuffle because it made a mistake. Now it's time to erase that mistake.

Yeah, it's not like she's dating one of the richest men in America. Oh wait…

What's good for the clicks is good for the gander. Plus, you create a place to feed people's outrage and they keep coming back for their next fix.

Yeah, he wrote The Count of Monte Cristo. Have you never seen The Shawshank Redemption?

Alanis, that you?

There must be a drug cocktail I can take that will bring this into focus. If only I wasn't stuck at work I could try to find out what that correct mix is.

I have no idea what you just said. But boy do I wish my brain worked like that.

Aww, I thought this was about last night's Lethal Weapon that I somehow missed.

Everyone knows that depression beer goes best with divorce cheesecake.

No, what you, and other people bitching, are missing is that this movie is a Chinese production with Chinese actors and a Chinese director. The reason they cast Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal is so the movie has broader appeal in international markets. It appears that whiners are stretching what white washing means in…

I rewatched Terriers this past summer. Made me happy, then sad.

My friend once said what would make baseball more interesting is if they randomly placed land mines in the outfield.

No, they wipe their asses with those bears.

She should do a collaboration with Skid Row.

Upvote for username/comment synergy.

The Magnificent Seven: Answer the Call

Rings: Hello?

Each time it dies a little on the inside.

Damnit, and I wanted my Archer reference to count.

This time call it Sploosh.