I'm drunk a lot and it never makes me want to rape someone.

Literally.

This chick just doesn't know when to STFU.

Vintage 1980s teeth, too.

Cohen talks like a fag.

Two words. Shit sandwich.

Third. I would never get in.

They're only successful because of their good looks.

What has six legs and says, "Ho dee doh! ho dee doh!"

Michael Jackson had a chimp. He was neither black nor white.

Frist.

My fistula your face.

I have a similar attitude towards my ex-wife.

Michael Steele didn't help himself by answering "BENGHAZI!" to every question.

RNC Chairman Michael Steele didn't know about the Reagan administration? Isn't that like a minister not knowing about the life of Jesus?

Doing something you love is one of the major keys to living a long and happy life.

She really is the cymbal of a bygone era.

What a heartwarming story. I hope they let her finish out the rest of the symphony season.

You'll get over it in time.

That used to be the case, but today's kids are so numb that we need to use as many extreme exclamations as possible to generate clicks.