The choice is so clear that we're not going to give you a choice.

Will you be pissing PBR or some fancy microbrew?

Weird timing. I was just in an Urban Outfitters today for the first time in years and saw a whole wall of vinyl records for sale and thought how odd that was.

Idris Elba sounds like a group we should be bombing in Syria.

I head that Gwyneth Paltrow is up for the Winnie Mandela role.

Wait, then what's a toad in the hole?

Gabourey Sidibe would make a good Jesus.

There was this girl in college that we used to call Jaws but not because she had metal teeth if you know what I mean and I think you do.

I hope I don't have to look forward to a week nothing but Joan Rivers tributes in my Facebook feed they way I did when Robin Williams died.

Shut up shut up shut up.

Are the Kung Fu scenes any good?

I'LL BE BRAAIIIINSSS.

I hope they cast Janeane Garofalo in the Christie Brinkley role.

Is this a sequel to The Gods Must Be Crazy?