.. he's a middle-aged scientist. He's clearly a bit bigger guy. Your complaint is man-boobs? All the gravitas in the world, acting chops out the wazoo.

Molina. Man, what an awesome Doctor Octopus. And even how the arms were handled—not the fight scenes, which were pretty damn great—when he finds out (uh.. spoiler for this decade-old film) his wife was killed during the experiment. He drops to his knees and the arms shoot up in grief.

Yeah, if nothing else, Amazing Spider-man 2 brought us this review so it can't be blamed for everything wrong. Just.. a lot of them.

Much better than Origins. Admittedly, my last two bowel movements have been better, but this one was better than the bowel movements.

WHEN, TELL ME WHEN, are we getting the goddamn Bat-Mite film? He's
important! And a side-kick! Fuck Robin, we need a film based on an
imaginary character (if you go with Grant Morrison's interpretation of
Bat-Mite) in a fictional world!

I am in agreement with this general feeling.

Yeah. This was kind of a nice vindication for Regina, it was really sweet (part of me is worried it won't hold. Don't fuck this up, ABC) and showed Henry that he really does have two mothers. And he did seem particularly more enthused to see Regina — then again, he'd been in New York with Emma for a year straight.

I was hoping quite badly that somehow his brother, the biological prince, had somehow taken his place during this last half-season and had just been working as a mole for Zelena somehow. Perhaps that whole "facing his fear thing" somehow switched places, I don't know.

I recall muttering to my television, "Yes, let's get invested in Charming's death scene from a year ago, as he stands next to his extremely pregnant wife in the present, that should add stakes and mourning."

Like the first season of The Newsroom, it had a great start.

I really, really, really loved that back and forth. As someone who tried so hard so hard to like Studio 60, a fork through my leg would've been less painful than trying to get through that season of television.

I want to go to there.

True. I like the idea of him being the big, burly guy who no one can relate to, so he's filled with this existential separation from everyone else. And the only way he can relate to them is basically by them trying to find a way to call him anything but "the Thing." He saves them in the climax by basically hurling…

The casting is confusing here. I don't buy any of them as their parts. Say what you will about the shit that was the first two "films" but the casting worked pretty well. If you're going to go this far off the beaten path, at least try to make it interesting.

Jesus, who the fuck is Jack Bauer going to save? He already let Winston Churchill die, he let a robot replace Charles and didn't prevent a massive noise machine from replacing the House of Commons in the form of David Cameron.

I am forced to agree.

"Sorry, Snow. I was talking to the deuce. Anyway, back in ten, get the Febreeze."

Well, I guess I'm watching crazy things from Gordon Ramsay. I'm also very curious if the Amy's Baking Company thing was a total put-on.

The hackers in Hackers looked like Angelina Jolie!

Hackers have seven friends?