"Car brand" is what we call it in the Midwest when it's 85 degrees and you get into your car and grip the shift and thus get a permanent scar on your palm in the shape of the gear diagram.

Statue? No. Inflateable.

Think it was a mistake to tear down the Saddam statue too, Jimmy?

Yep. Britain alone lost 887,000 men in the first World War. Someone saying, "Let's try to avoid doing that again" was not a crazy, wild political stance at the time.

In fairness, pharmaceutical CEOs have probably been responsible for more deaths than American Nazis.

Exquisite.

Kill all puppies? Kill no puppies? Surely we can agree then that only half of all puppies should be killed.

Also a General Assumption That Legislators Will Just Be These Gentlemen Farmers and Squire-Attorneys Who Will Be Demonstrably Better Than 'The Mob' (Imagined at the Time to Be Freedmen, Wainwright's Apprentices and Low-Rate Sailors) At Governing

The Truth Lies Somewhere In The Middle(TM). Always! It is always equidistant from both 'extremes'. And it's dynamic, so that if the republicans become more extreme—which is something that has NEVER happened and never will—it just moves to remain in between them and the Democrats! So elegant!

The Constitution: It Totally Works If You Assume That No One Who Works in Government Has An Accumulated Memory of Previous Events

I'll take your word for it.

I like girl-on-girl oil wrestling, is it similar to that?

Nah, fellatio sort of rules out sexposition scenes.

In fairness, pharmaceutical companies have killed way more people than American Nazis.

Uh, except tres leches cake is like halfway to being pudding. How would you maintain proper booblike firmness with tres leches?

"…but dammit the FIRST SEGMENT was about the World's Largest Naked Papier Mache David Bowie just outside Ada, Oklahoma. So then I switched to Great British Bake-Off and FUCK IF IT WASN'T EROTIC CAKES WEEK!!"

I prefer soft pore corn.

/clickbate

Listen: We're all looking at porn. All of us. Every Man Jack and Woman Jill of us. The Christian, Moslem, Amish, Chasidic, asexual and/or New Puritan Feminist girl/guy in your office who's angrily shaking their heads as they read this? They're watching more than is normal.

Any other parents in here (or well-informed/read non-parents, I suppose) "read" the wordless Journey/Quest/Return series of books that recently won the Caldecott prize? Beautiful stuff. Sort of "Simon and the Purple Crayon" for a new generation: