Apropos Perlman: I loveloveLOVE City of Lost Children and Name of the Rose

'Cause Hellboy 2 was so very wonderful and not at all tedious or way, way, WAY overlength?

Dystopian Columbus, Ohio looks affirmatively more-interesting than current, non-dystopian Columbus, Ohio.

Movies based on video games aren't very good. Video games based on movies aren't very good. Movies that are about people playing video games strike me as really not-good.

Nah, it's mostly about sleighs and snow and deathbed father/son reconciliations.

Congratulations! You are about 51% done with the plot of The Brothers Karamazov.

Not pretty, impossible to hide . . . *shrugs*

Replicant of Texaco?

That isn't really news. In 325 A.D., the Emperor Constantine convened a meeting of all the bishops in christendom. He entered the hall, all the bishops stood up. They remained standing until Constantine sat down. And that was pretty much it: christianity has been the servant of Empire ever since.

What's this "early stages" business?

There was only one movie I thought of seeing this year and it was Valerian and I still haven't seen it.

Alright, just straight up: I am not going to see Nocturama or Bushwick. I want someone right now, free of charge, just to spoil it for me so I can get on with the business of mocking it.

I do not have confirming or disconfirming misdisinformation from the President of the Boy Scouts, Prime Minister of Montenegro, Russian jerky boys who phoned up Rick Perry, the President of Mexico, the President of New Mexico, the New President of Sexico, Serpico, Maynard G. Krebs, and over 1,000 shemale Green Berets.

I might not haven't didn't definitely absolutely make it up.

Wow, that is so very not the point I was making.

No. No one. You are literally the only potential audience member for this film. And even you won't see it.

In other, related, good or possibly bad news, the President either did or did not have sex with an intern. An intern from Canada.

Sorry, I can only tolerate musical theater via the medium of Disney or Pixar animation now. I've been Conditioned.

Are you also anti-anti-Trump?

If you don't like it, just don't watch/read it.