I guess it's time for me to come clean…

It came from the commissary, I think, which was slightly nicer than the coarse tissue we were given "for free."

In prison, I once traded a can of Coke Zero for two rolls of toilet paper.

Um…..

I think it looks fine.

How would you like to have the teeth in your butt thoroughly brushed?

Yeah, well, mine was a lot more entertaining.

But he made deals into an art! His book said so!

Dad?

Are you the one who saw 88 Minutes?

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who sounds like a character from Elizabethtown II, won't have to worry about any of that. She'll probably say "ask someone else" and then move on to the next question.

I did like Home Alone 2.

I blame eight years of making fun of Bush (his name was funny. Also, why is Bush also a baked bean?).

Now, now. Let's not pick on Sean when he's down. It's not nice.

Will they meet Danger Mouse?

He's at Comic-Con?

Does this mean I won?

What if she doesn't like zombie movies?

The opening credit sequence won an Emmy.

Are you okay?