Holy shit: Look at the first letter of each paragraph.

As one of the most progressive liberals I know, I'd like to say to progressive liberals: chill the fuck out with the hair-trigger outrage and it's ok to laugh at comedy

Mr. T Ate My Balls and Sloth Ate My Balls was my first true experience with the internet. It did not go uphill from there

The quintessential "wind" song is "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayze. "She's like the wind….in my trees." What person with trees can't relate to that.

This vile motherfucker has to go, and soon. I don't care how.

There’s so much going on in each level, it's so dense.

I don't have anything clever to say except that this is the funniest fucking comment I've ever read

SCHWING!

Atlanta 2: The Price is Still On the Can, Tho

Make sure you stay after the credits to see Trump's hand come out of the water!

Holy shit I had those Calvin Klein parody shirts.

We're all going to die.

That documentary wrecked me. "You're the last person I will love/You're the last face I will recall/And best of all, I'm not gonna miss you/Not gonna miss you." Thanks, Mr. Campbell.

I recently went on a first Bumble date that I squeezed in between a date later that night because I thought this girl was so cool. Date went great. We both were like "yeah, have some stuff to do tonight so better get going." Mid-second date, I see her walking down the street with my friend — also on a first date. He's…

IT'S DEAD!

I hope Katie got paid triple for this after enduring all the Witchcraft movies, too

*a picture of my dick*

I don't know if anyone has watched the original Hellboy recently, but…it super doesn't hold up, sadly.

5.6

Martin Scorsese could not be reached for comment