My feet are soaked but my cuffs are bone dry…. Everything's coming up Milhouse!

I'd call the effort behind this half-assed, but I think it's probably more accurate to call it quarter-assed or some other smaller-percentage-assed.

I can't be the only one who thought, "This is definitely going to be Urban Outfitter," can I?

I wanted to like Obvious Child, but I couldn't stand it.

I'm sorry, we were talking about Simpsons References?

Facts, schmacts. You can use facts to prove anything that's even vaguely true.

Ugh. I smell another cheap cartoon crossover.

Brilliant! I have absolutely no idea what's going on.

I'm mystified that people liked Beerfest. I think I got to the point where he jerks off a frog (which, somehow, seems funnier in theory when I type it than it was in practice in the movie) and realized, yeah, I'm just not going to like this movie.

Winter's Tale is the only movie I saw on this list, but it was bad in a way that was almost transcendent. Not ONE character speaks the way that a human being speaks. One character will respond to another in a way that suggests they either didn't hear or didn't understand what the other person said, and then the…

Scott Aukerman - where comedy goes to die.

It was really good right out of the bat. But then it spend several seasons spinning its wheels (rich man mental anguish, followed by some more rich man mental anguish!) and demonstrating that, apparently, the writers absolutely despite January Jones.

So you're saying I don't have to pay taxes and can still expect social benefits?

I'm just so happy Willi One Blood will finally have his moment.

It seems kind of weird to get upset about some vinyl reissues, and then include others in your Holiday Gift Guide. I mean, I love R.E.M. more than any other band, but who in their fucking right mind needs their IRS singles in 7" record form? Or spend $200 on Bruce Springsteen's first seven albums that could be had…

Their (sort of) greatest hits album, Prisoners of Love, is a great starting point. It's a really great collection of some of their more and less known songs throughout the years, rather than a typical "best of" collection.

Worst use of zigzagging timeline, ADHD directing, and sex sex sex to cover up for the fact that there isn't anyone on the show who behaves as a human being might behave - How To Get Away With Murder.

My father-in-law has one of the coolest autograph stories I know of.

The best autograph I have, by far, is Muhammad Ali. My dad was in Chicago for a convention in the early 80s, and was staying in Hyde Park, where Ali lived at the time. They both happened to be having lunch in the hotel restaurant.

Oh, good, I'm not the only one.