It is a toss-up between Sims and Phil D Nugent and McFarland as to who is the worst writer still kicking around here at the AV Club.

The Indoor Kids are too loud. Indoor Voices, please.

Yes. Why is that hard to understand?

What if I told you I was literally a cigarette and I ejaculated smoke?

Delightfully delicious or disgustingly delicious, your call

I love eating pussy like nobody else. I now want to eat a pussy that gushes out Pepsi during an orgasm. That sounds fantastic, and I don't even like Pepsi.

Christ, Disqus is a pile o' shit, eh? Comments are there, then not there, then there again.

Again, they both know the 1st Amendment. They also know their constituents are slack-jawed mouth-breathers. It is a cynical ploy.

What the fuck happened to my heinous anus comment?

Ah, ya beat me to it, you drunk bastard.

See, Jindal does understand the 1st Amendment. He also knows his constituents are fucking morons.

"I found my best friend in bed with my wife!"
"Bitter?"
"Yep, bit him too."
[banjo riff]

Only if Willie blows into it.

Slipped right in the backdoor she did.

"Heinous Anus is deliciously disgusting!" — me

This is a bad decision in that it has given persecution-porn people some "Christians are under attack!" juice to rile up their flock.

Had he said this 2 years ago, I think A&E would have done more damage control. This show profitability would have declined after this Christmas, so there was nothing gutsy about their decision.

Duck Dynasty in "Heinous Anus"

If ducks had thumbs, Phil would be forcing them to shove their thumbs up his ass.

She's sneaking in the back door, as it were.