Some friends and I skipped a day of high school to watch it in the theater. We were going to sneak some beers in and make obnoxious snarky comments at the screen. Unfortunately, there was a lone middle-aged woman in the theater with us, so we just sat respectfully and drank our beers quietly.

Bullcrap! If that's true, then why is there only ONE set of footprints?

Oh no! The Paris Hiltonaissance is real!

Now that you mention it, when's the last time anybody has seen Wendy?

I can't tell you the number of times I get pulled out of a movie because the movie contains people that are way too beautiful, performing jobs that they clearly don't seem familiar with doing. For my money, give me a cast of varied character actors.

Why of course! We eat our traditional Thanksgiving giraffe one leg at a time, same as you.

It wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!

I named my fantasy football team this year "Bortles and James".

That just means they're going to try harder the next time.

"Based on the fact that he voided his bowels everywhere and the excessive bloating of the body, I'd say he's been dead for 10 hours or so."

Why is everyone at your Halloween party dressed as pointy ghosts?

I don't know. I'd pay extra for a secondary commentary track featuring Snoop Dogg on the blu-ray release.

I'm pretty sure Trump is allergic to "winning strategies". He gets the itch to shoot himself in the foot.

They're all communists if ya ask me.

At my last birthday….

That's so true. After watching an episode of Fraggle Rock during a free HBO weekend as a child, I had a nightmare that fraggles were chasing me. I was convinced the reason the show was on HBO was that it wasn't meant for children and depicted a nightmarish puppet hell. Now, even though my daughter started watching…

He just wants them to wait until he gets TrumpTv off the ground. Then he can get some of that sweet sweet merger money too.

Is that baby Jesus statue melting and turning into Dagoth like in Conan the Destroyer?

I would respect Tyler Perry forever if the movie was just a standard Madea movie and then in the last 5 minutes….BAM!….she gets shot dead, then cut to silent credits. It'd be a hell of a way to retire the character and start a conversation. But instead I'll take your bet and raise you "Madea joins the police force…

Neither. The being you know as "Tyler Perry" has ascended to the next plane of branding, henceforth to be known as The Brand Perry.