Who is Adam Corolla?

Pussy lips.

Please read The Irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous by Gabrielle Glaser…trust me.

The biggest laught for me was this bit. Bill Murray absolutely slayed it and the whole concept of Jaws with accompanying vocals had me in stitches.

"Ah, the Americans are not so bad. They even named a street after me in San Francisco."
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"It's full of what??"

This is gettin' to be regoddamdiculous!

I've heard this somewhere before…

As a child I used to wonder who this magical Glen A. Larson was and why his name was always the last one to appear on the credits of the shows I watched the most.
Also, I hate credits.

Da Pokey Mon.

Chimichanga shell? Damn whitey, the rest of us call them tortillas.

All that you need; is a match and a little bit of gasoline.

Aston Kutcher is loving MC's sloppiez. Loving it.

Nah he broke his neck whilst doing a headspin in a Pepsi commercial.

Necrophilia Be Cool!

What Cho talkin' 'bout, Willis?

I wonder who she is going to wear to the funeral.

Why don't you EVER just open up and tell us how you really feel? You will feel a lot better once you do.

Lady Milestasia St. Cyrus? Gold…

"Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have some mail for me."
"Ok Mr. Burns, whats your first name?"
"I don't know."

How do you sleep at night?