My jaw dropped slightly when they shot injured bro in the head, but I was mostly thinking “Why did I not cook certain food over semi-watching this? I’m really hungry.*” What the fuck Travis? “I had no choice.” You didn’t make a fucking choice you boring asshole. Stop blubbering for no reason and mourn your…

Finally! Though I kind of wish they had somehow worked in a sensible plot about a former priest who's now a severely burned crackhead.

If that asshole brought his kid to my house trick-or-treating, I'd honestly consider refusing the child candy and flat-out tell him or her to blame their father. After a drink or three, I can totally… or, somewhat, kind of… see myself doing so. (Then I'd likely feel terrible and go running out the door with fistfuls…

This movie is so bad. I watched it (and its sequel!) around 2 a.m. on Halloween last year (Or the year prior? When they were available on Netflix and Amazon Prime) and my only thought was "This is my life?" Then I probably cried.

I am happy about this! [ / excellent comment!]

I watched Ted Danson kicking the dog into the sun four times and it got funnier each time.

I still watch this show for some unfathomable reason and wonder why AV Club insists on continuing to review it too…

My main thought (after seeing that Ofelia did in fact yoink that truck, possibly to find people with a smidge of personality) is "So, she's married to Roy from the Office, eh?" She and Alicia and Chris seem awesome in real life… based on the Talking Dead and social media and stuff anyway. If only they could bring some…

Neither won any major categories. Progress!

Good for Dennis Franz getting out there again after Homer S.: Portrait of an Ass Grabber.

Larry David's schtick will never, ever get old, and also go VEEP.

TATIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RAMI M FUCK YES x2 (even though he beat Bobby O and Kyle C and Matty R but really I'd have been thrilled with any one of them)

Seeing young people in the In Memoriam segment is always a little jarring, and Bowie and Prince still seem impossible.

Good job, character actress Margo Martindale. Proudly representing The Americans.

FUCK YES KEY & PEELE.

I always love when Matt Damon pops up, and I don't even want to bang him. (He's no Kyle Chandler, you know?)

It was so, so short, and so, so sweet.

GO PATTON. I'm sure his speech will make me cry like a baby.

God, Kyle Chandler bein' all Kyle Chandler.