Jesse Plemons may have lost the Emmy, but he… won… something clever about Dunst looking smokin' tonight.

Extra crispy is all that comes to mind

If anyone touches Claire Danes today, they'll wind up with severe burns.

Whoopsy doodle. Disregard this comment.

I want to grab a pizza from the basement freezer, but between Louie, Aziz/Alan Yang, and Kate's sweet speech, I feel like I might miss something decent.

The past few years I've mostly just crossed my fingers that Modern Family would lose. MF losing to Louie Anderson made my heart so happy. It was nice to see him get a win.

"Wheels up in 30."

"I love that sweater. Can you give it to me? … But I held my mouth open for a really long time! … Typical BoSchwack."

He could do both!

Does this mean people like Nat Shupe only watch Fox News, Joanie Loves Chachi, and random Antonio Sabato Jr. TV appearances?

God, Daughter is so perfect.

I've been going crazy lately (especially with my depression spiraling further and *fart noise*). Stewart, Colbert, and Bee saved me. Slightly. For a few days.

I actually looked down to double check I was indeed wearing my "Please, Call Me Garry!" shirt tonight. (WHAT ARE THE CHANCES also Gilly [Sorry] and :( )

I remembered Colbert was broadcasting live after the RNC this week in time to catch his going full Colbert and did a little happy shoulder shake before returning to sobbing because … who's being Melania right now because she seems really familiar and it's pissing me off.

Oh no.

Gawker/Jezebel used to be good, and Scott Baio The Antichrist is one small form of proof for the latter lesbian shitasses.

I don't mean to come off as ridiculously self-absorbed (seriously), but for fuck's sake. I vividly remember when I began obsessing over my appearance/weight in fourth grade. Having turned 30 last month makes Hollywood yet again rejecting a funny, gorgeous, intelligent, and talented woman harder to swallow for some…

Many of the people behind them seem to overlap, from director to producer to ___. I admittedly know absolutely nothing about cinematography, though.

Compared to the comments I've left on A.V. Club while drunk I'm only somewhat ashamed to admit I'm a fan of both the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Dallas.

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