Is this the "polar opposite" one you mentioned the other week?

Not remotely the same reasons, but nearly identical outcome here. Short version: I go along with their impetus, things go lopsided, inevitable bad ending. At least I'm consistent if nothing else.

Add in that everyone online seems to want to start at the casual sex, then go from there…. I'm not really wired that way.

Spoooooge!

I've been told to try online, but that always falls apart when it gets to the "describe yourself" part of the profile. Add in that I don't really text and that removes pretty much all the apps out there.

Based on reputations and various stories, I'm going with yes. STORY OF THE YEAR HOLLYWOOD!

Figured I'd be close. When anyone says " very redneck" my brain defaults to either Oklahoma or Missouri, and I get the feeling you would be far more bitter if you came out of Mizzou.

Look, it's hatesong, now in list form!

You used to know Penn Jillette?

Is this why you can still hear legend of "Jesus' Tongue" blowing on the Oklahoma winds?

It's not bragging when it's a defense mechanism.

Or just be a sane person and get a dog.

I get the feeling you've done at least a few of these. (Kinda leading towards #8)

How does one meet potential partners while being uncomfortable in crowds, around new people (just generally uncomfortable, really)?

The good writers are still there for the most part, but they're all doing videos for them now.

Your dad ruined her. RUINED HER!

One would think that would be a superpower for a reporter, yet we see it is not.

And that tells part of the story of why I can't live with random folks as roommates.

Well, the best advice I can give is to stop being me already. Seriously, stop it.

JETS ONLY KNOW ONE SPEED!