Tried a new nose hair trimmer. Who knew just plucking would lead to less pain.

Also: Fuck this ingrown hair in my nose. INSIDE MY NOSE! The one I got on my junk years ago pales in comparison to this thing.

Fuck money, and my continual lack of it. There's a Chicago meetup planned for right when I have vacation, but apparently I only have enough money to think about going not enough to actually go. I'm not even sure why I bother getting excited for things anymore.

I'd settle for a participation award right now.

Upvoting even though I can't read it at work. Oglaf is always a winner.

So… how were the bathrooms?

If that's the armpit what does it make Bakersfield?

Dear Dan, I get laid all the time. How awesome am I?

I twisted an ankle before. It could have been so much worse.

{insert Catskills-level wife joke here}

I would suggest either this version, or the "Seven Military Classics" translated by the same guy:

Someone's been reading his Art of War.

Married her after his brother died simply because he really wanted to be his brother. Then drug her and their kid out to Deadwood while plowing a different, wealthier, widow.

Should be three time winner, or have we forgotten what Sheriff Bullock did to her?

Only if I can keep drinking it cold/with ice.

Learn to queue!

lowballing

We had an exterminator explain how they are actually kind of impressive due to their resilience despite the lack of any noticeable evolutionary changes. I was mildly impressed but still requested they be killed with fire.

That's kind of what everyone is waiting to find out. 10 story office building that's infested so bad it's one of the reasons they're demolishing it. Exactly what's going to keep them out of the surrounding neighborhood?

Don't worry, you're not using it anyway.