i urged my wife to play it recently, and she knew nothing beyond it aside from knowing i loved it enough to get me a ness t-shirt right after we first met and that i love everything about it. even knowing that i loved it, she just couldn't get over how crushing the game is after years of playing games that achieve…

that is just how child actors were back then i guess. more names is more money. joseph gordon levitt. johnathan taylor thomas. and most egregiously was mary-kate-and-ashley olsen. not convinced she was twins

Aruuuaghhh

last week i threw my hat into the ring to take over the column after someone claimed john teti does not know things about football and to further expose my qualifications i thought i would share another Football Fact: football is played in as many as 35 of the 50 states in american high schools

sorry bohomoth we had a town hall meeting where we decided to ban fedoras and all hats forever. i thought you received an invite

maaaax tuckerrrrr
he's the man
whose name you'd love to touch
but you mustn't touuuucchhhh

the idea of a line like "would rather mainline drano than put up with another second of your whore prattle" actually being said, smugly, by a man to an actual woman is so absurdly ur-reddit/MRA/redpiller and unbelievable that i start to wonder if tucker max really was reaching for """satire""". not saying that he came…

when i was 9 years old i threw up pizza in my closet because i didnt want my parents to find out i threw it up and make me stop eating pizza. anyway cool that this 9 year old could commit the perfect crime over two decades of investigating i guess

i have a problem with it not because it makes idiocy seem like a virtue but because it makes nonconformity seem obviously bad and something that leads to abuse and HIV

excited as hell for this presidential election, the first one where voters who have never known a world without south park can finally pretend to live out an episode of their favorite shitty show

sick,,, thank`s candelja

who will usurp joe walsh for the title of king fuck of shit mountain now that he has claimed the skittles meme from donalt trump jr. has anyone seen rudy giuliani lately

sure i can handle it. first up: the game of american football is over a decade old

honestly I'm not sure if a secret like that could be kept in 2016 like it was then. as I remember, but I could be wrong, there were even doctored screenshots of "gameplay" on the back of the box, after the tanker showing you things that simply didn't happen in the actual game narrative. I remember renting a PS2 and…

I think what more explicitly makes giygas lovecraftian is that ness and the other party members are "unable to comprehend the nature of his attack!" so you take damage but there's no real description accompanying it. but that's less creepy than NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS………….I F E E L… H A P P Y

shame, eightzarkeight is a beautiful name

I feel the same way about clerks, but wayne's world still works! the problem with clerks is that there's really only one style of humor being served and a person can age out of it. wayne's world has a little bit more to it though.

I've also been considering revisiting DXHR. I got maybe 25 hours in before just…giving up. it feels like there were a lot of really fun moments but the game was just less than the sum of its parts. visually I can't think of another game that has aged so poorly so quickly. it's just sooo brown.

he was clearly getting better after a few games and it was obvious that he was at least trying but yeah, that was an ominous time. and it seemed like fox was so stubborn to keep him on track, even though he'd obviously be directly compared to ian darke.

a couple years ago during football season every time phil simms would say "you have to give this guy credit" my partner would scream "DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO," and now I can't handle any commentator using that phrase.