HOW DARE THIS COMEDIAN NOT TAKE THE JOKE ARTICLE SERIOUSLY. THIS DOES NOT MEET DDB9000'S REQUIRED "HATE" QUOTA, AND THUS IS INVALID.

Oh, man! If only the article explained what any of those three things are in detail!!

I'M SO MAD ABOUT HATESONG. MY OPINIONS ARE SO TENUOUS THAT SOMEONE DISAGREEING WITH ME SENDS ME INTO FITS OF RAGE

OMG really?? Did you know wrestling is fake too??

Good thing he has you to tell him what to do with his money.

Oh no, a shot of two characters looking at each other!!

I don't have specific, identifiable reasons for hating some of the things I do, but I hate them nonetheless. A lot of times, it's just a gut reaction to something. That has always been such a weird criticism of this column to me.

When people pick songs commenters like (like D'yer Maker a while back), they flip out. When people pick songs commenters hate, they accuse them of making the obvious choice.

What makes you think he doesn't? It's not exactly rare for people to know who Goebbels was.