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The Narrator
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Excuse me, but those are totally unrelated. The Circle was part of the insanely misbegotten Let the Circle Be Unbroken Cinematic Universe with Unbroken. The Square is part of the The Square Cinematic Universe, with The Square and The Square.

Also, here are my Cannes awards predictions which I have no faith in.

The full Cannes awards don't start until 1 EST tomorrow, but I should tell SG Standard that Taylor Sheridan won Best Director for Wind River at the Un Certain Regard awards today (from a jury headed by Uma Thurman).

Also, it's now spawned easily the greatest headline of 2017.

I wasn't trying to get you to care about it (how dare you think so low of me as to think I'd try to get you to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Johnny Won't Get Out of His Trailer For Less Than $80 Million), I was more emphasizing what a depressing talent suck that movie is.

I thought you should know that ‎Golshifteh Farahani is in Pirates of the Caribbean: Who Fucking Gives a Shit, as a witch.

There's a dream sequence where her head pops out of a computer screen.

And she assaults a smoothie-maker with a rolling pin and pops out of a computer like the VHS cover of The Lost World: Jurassic Park in it, which suggests that it's actually a masterpiece.

Man, they must've seen a totally different version of Inland Empire, I don't remember any of those characters in it.

Magnolia is one of my favorite movies, but I feel like this newest Touch the Skyrim outdoes it for pure inexplicable emotional, aesthetic effect.

Going through the entirety of Car Boys again, I was struck by how many shots in it are some of the finest digital artwork of the century thus far. Like, if Nick and Griffin sold the shot of the multiple Bustos surrounding the abstracted large cannon, they would be Jeremy Blake-level famous in the art world.

He was also in Maps to the Stars, although he apparently has a much smaller part in that. And I've heard really good things about him in David Michod's The Rover.

He's now an Adam Sandler repertory player.

Don't forget that Pattinson quietly rules in The Lost City of Z.

I desperately need there to be a sequel to The Informant! with Damon as Jared Kushner.

I'm sorry, you objectively did not watch the five best films of 2016, because you didn't see 20th Century Women.

Aww, Geostorm's new logline suggests that it's no longer a presidential assassination thriller in addition to a weather-based disaster movie. Still gonna bomb so hard, though.

Also, Dowd said on Twitter that You Were Never Really Here was his favorite film in Competition this year (not that that means much in a pretty weak year for that; I just looked at this year and last year's slates, and man, the difference is vast).