Osco: Hey, is this that movie they made by imprisoning, abusing, and filming someone?
AVClub: The actor's personality was warm and charismatic!
Osco: So it's basically a horrific violation caught on camera?
AVClub: B+!

Don't be silly - captive wild animals are machines! They're machines we have to imprison and abuse to capture their "warm and charismatic" personalities.

Unpopular opinion time: This reboot will be at best mediocre because the original Blair Witch was straight-up bad. It traded in the hackiest horror cliches, including
A) characters make asinine decisions to move the plot forward ("Haha! I threw away that stupid map!"),
B) jump scares jump scares JUMP SCARES, and
C) the…

This is super sad to me. We don't have to kill pigs. :(

It makes me sad, too. Can we just leave pigs alone? Like stop killing them?

"Morgan is no Ex-Machina…"

My little nephew made me watch GMM for the first time a few weeks ago, and I found these guys shockingly, painfully unfunny. Their banter; my god. It had high energy, rapidfire cadence, and a howling void where the funny should've been.

Just going to come out with guns blazing here: