Well, to continue my theme of consuming substances and going to movies (and I have plenty such stories, ha ha), the first time I ever got drunk was when I was at a party my parents' friends were having, and I and the other kids my age were sneaking glasses of white wine! Finally we left and stumbled around the corner…

Of course, silly me!

True story: I ate a bunch of mushrooms and went to see Natural Born Killers! Ha ha, probably a mistake!

Ha ha, Part III of what?

Perhaps, but it was the first of them I managed to sneak into the theater to see, so it remains strangely dear to my heart! I also think it achieved the Platonic ideal of 1980s horror cinematography! That's not much of an achievement, I agree, but it means something to me!

I'll tell you what, this makes me sad! I was a Fangoria kid too, a devoted subscriber, and a dream was realized when I eventually wrote some articles for them! I still well remember my first encounter with the magazine, in a drugstore situated below where my doctor's office was! I was twelve and was there for a…

Ah, the third one's kind of fun!

Yes, Mike Gingold is a very cool guy! He gave me a tour of the office once, and we had a nice lunch!

Ha ha! I wrote for them too!

Ha ha! They foozled me into seeing The First Power in the theater!

H20, "out of their depths" - ha ha!

Of Strode Realty?

No, no, every kid wanted those masks!

Kerfuffle on the Planet of the Apes

And Batman will continue looking like the creature from The Keep, will he?

I'm sure it shot through the eyepiece and out the lens of the camera, just like at the end of Raiders!

Like, backwards thirties?

He does look a little like Criswell! "No one will pay to see a man dance!"

A certain Mr. E. Cheese would like a word!

Kustom Kar Korrespondent