If by "hope" you mean "erection" and by "heart" you mean "pants", then yes.

*Puts on glasses and white lab coat*

Joe Perry, Aerosmith
Billie Perry

The twist is that was actually a pretty good U2 album. Easily the best since… I dunno. All That You Can't Leave Behind?

I *knew* sleeping through poli sci would pay off eventually!

She totally looks like she's going to murder him and become president. That's how politics works now, right?

So will she be in the 50 Shades of Grey sequel or not? The suspense is killing me!

The network had some notes. Firstly, can it be a gritty reboot of Herman's Head? It should also be proactive and outrageous.

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if thousands of Blossom fans suddenly cried out 'whoa!' and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has been canceled."

Saying her name in the mirror three times won't make her appear. She's not Biggie Smalls.

But, but… my parents told me Samurai Cop 2 went to live on a farm upstate!

Ok. But the headline makes it sound like you can walk into a store and plunk down $18k. And the eBay auction started at .99 so the stupidly inflated price is entirely driven by morons who love thousand island. I don't even know where I was going with all this because seriously, fuck McD so hard. Maybe I'm just feeling…

McDonald's sucks out loud, but that's a really misleading headline. THEY aren't selling it for $18k.

Pie chart lacks pie. And pi.

It took an entire roll of Tums for me to lose that lovin' feeling.

Bloodwing from Borderlands

"Otto you're being brainwashed!" "Yeah, probably. Yvan eht nioj!"

High. Tom Petty is high as fuck.

I do not care for Morrisey or The Smiths. Whew, felt good to say that out loud!

Say it ain't so…