Total honesty— this is a movie whose ending I figured out way early on. At first I was thinking, "What is it, identical twins? They wouldn't do that, would they?". Then as the story hinges on some dumb love triangle I'm like, "…yeah, it's twins."

I have to say, I'm not crazy about how the episode plays it both ways with Cham. He wants to blow up the carrier as a sign of defiance instead of letting the Rebellion use it as a resource— that's bad! But he winds up letting the Rebellion have it and he gets to blow up a freaking Star Destroyer as a sign of defiance…

Jeez, somebody open up a window…

No, not that one. (I pretty much hate Alicia's taste in music)

I now have that Iowa yodel-sounding campaign trail song stuck in my head. Please somebody tell me they know what it is so I can listen to it obsessively until I lose taste of it.

In a better world, PoI goes on and on and Abrams never gets his sticky fingers on Star Wars.

The whole time, I wondered if TFA's trailers were holding back their big stuff for the film. Then it turned out there just wasn't anything there, really.

In other news: my lawn, and where to go in relation to it.

I just checked my listings. I live in New York, which is usually the best plce imaginable to see movies like this under prime conditions. We have the Ziegfeld with its huge, perfect screen, one of the best places to see a movie in 70mm and take full advantage of it. They showed The Master back when it ran, and…

I have to imagine wookies would've made more money, honestly. Yeah, ewoks are cute and kids like cute, but they also liked Chewie back in the day, didn't they?

Merchandise has been in SW from ANH on, but it was always spurred by the novelty of the films themselves, not the other way around. If Lucas was really the greedy toy magnate he keeps being described as, the PT would've been all X Wings and nonstop OT fanservice. Just sell what they already want to buy instead of…

Which is really so much bullshit. Corporate made movies get to decide what's canon now? Yeesh. Say what you want about his talents, but at least Lucas was a person, doing things for creative reasons.

King Ko…?

I'm into Star Wars for two things— Jedi and space. Neither of those are here, really (Luke doesn't count after we got real Jedi in the PT). So what's the damn point?

So in other words, they needed Jedi.

How was Super Mario Bros. left off this list?

I get that this commercial is supposed to make you think twice about eating animal meat, but really all it does is make me think "I know it's morally wrong, but humans probably taste really good".

I'd get rid of the fans. Bye.

Uh, hm.

Hideaki Anno is directing this. The creator of Evangelion (and the fact that this new film is now titled "Shin Godzilla", like "Shin Seiki Evangelion" is not lost on me) is directing this. That's basically the greatest act of cinematic artistic inheritance I can think of. How is this now part of the discussion?