Never give a hard time to anyone about something that isn’t their fault, and when it is their fault, go ahead and keep things in perspective and still treat them like a human. Zero% of all this is the fault of anyone you can actually talk to at a Popeye’s location, so go ahead and take a few deep breaths.

Announcing that they’re revoking Blitzchung’s suspension would be a good start towards showing actual remorse.

Fuck Jim Spanfeller, Fuck Paul Maidment, fuck their friends, fuck their family, fuck em for closing the comments, fuck em for being fucking greedy cunt assholes who drove my favorite website into the ground, fuck me, fuck you, fuck everything really.

Is anyone at Kotaku actually a part of the GMG union, or all outside freelancers? Expected to see a lot more red union avatars here this morning like Giz, but so far nothing over on this space.

“and the Nintendo 64's 32.94 units sold”

wow, never imagined that the n64 performed so badly, 33 consoles and one even with missing bits

Petchesky was just canned, unbelievable.

How great would it be if the other blogs all started covering sports today?

Can you let me know when you will be returning to sports coverage so I can go back to checking in once or twice per day? I have a lot to do today at work and all of these posts about non-sports topics are distracting because I Must Read Every Single One of Them. Whereas with the sports stuff I really only care if its…

Oh nice! Without naming anything specific and de-anonymizing myself, we’re getting married at a well known nature-based public institution with lots of flowers and an old courtyard. You can probably make a good guess. Easy Tiger is lovely - they opened a new location near our house that’s sadly way less pretty than…

(while I’m making rules, if you’re requiring people to wear heels you want to continue to participate in society without being branded as a pariah, you are not allowed to have a cash bar)

Unless there’s some twist to the 7th Kavalry down the road, I’m pretty sure it jammed. We see the guy who handles the gun stuff, Panda, in a later scene and he isn’t white.

Eh, posting things to a locked, private social media account restricted to trusted friends and family is not meaningfully different from sending an email to a private mailing list, or just talking to a group of close associates around a dinner table. It’s fine to expect those people to keep what they hear private, and…

There was no objective asking me to replace the package in front of one house with the letter sent to the other house, inconveniencing these neighbors for a brief period long after I go home. But I don’t need to be told how to do my job. 9/10

Untitled Goose Game Review:

From within the garden, I locked the gardener outside. I grabbed the radio, pulled it up in front of the gate, and honked at him to the beat of the tune so he would know who the master of this garden truly was. 8/10

*honks menacingly*

I guess I shouldn’t be shocked, but 2K and Gearbox have been unloading clip after clip into their own foot and I just can’t understand why. I mean other than the usual issue of misguided power oafs being unable to change course.

The way to gain access to the game is to have Randy do a magic trick for you.

guys

“Despite having no experience working on BMWs”

Thanks Dan, this is just the kind of hard-hitting investigative journalism I come to Deadspin for.