Then you're going to miss out on the finest birthday immolation humor San Jose has to offer.

My summer camp nickname was Peebody!

Stupid kids need the most brains!

That's a lovely video, but I'm afraid you're wrong about it being the greatest video in internet history. This is the greatest video in internet history:

First you get displaced, then you get the bedbugs, then you get the incest.

Remember Sexcastle? It's back! In pog comic form.

Well, you got me there. All hail Shrinky Dinks!

Moses is a lie to turn people away from Spirograph.

But not at my mom's house!

Upvoted for having a cat.

All Up in the Family

Actually, it should have been ranked a bit higher.

Who among us could forget Bree Olson's performance in The Dark Knight.

My mom says that Arran is cool.

This is truly a golden age we live in.

Haven't there been, like, three Neeson wolfpunchers this year already?

Thanks to Mad Men I now make weekly trips to the friendly neighborhood Pizza House down the street.

Oh yeah, I'm a real space plane expert. Six barrel holley carb….edelbrock intakes…myohoff lifters…

I'm doing it right now!

How about Parker Lewis Can't Lose Herman's Head? Synergy!