This makes me look forward to spending Christmas alone!

Other things the public is clamoring to know:

Oh, the one near me has special screenings where you're allowed to talk, quote along, and make noise. I certainly wouldn't pull that shit at any regular screening (Alama Drafthouse or not!).

"Cock-blocktopus." Just one example of why I heart Lindy West.

The Alama Drafthouse near me is offering a "girlie night" showing of this movie, where, I shit you not, "you're allowed (and expected) to squeal, sigh and grab your neighbor's arm when Colin Firth finally proposes to that Portugese lady."
I'm considering getting a group of people together to yell out "Creeper!" and…

Ugh, I hate incomplete studies like this. Did the researchers even consider:

I live in Colorado and have a pair of these. They're fantastic, though I've got large calves and they can take a little while to wriggle on over jeans.

I saw a sneak preview of it last week and spent most of the film:

-wanting to shake the main character
-wishing it had more Jeff Goodman
-wanting to give Carey Mulligan a better wig
-considering taking up guitar (this passed quickly)
-wishing the woman to my left would stop reacting loudly to every development

TL;DR: The…

"I'm trying really hard to come up with a good rhyme for Saperstein, but am failing miserably."

Devil's peen!

The dog smooching makes me like Miley a little more.

I've got a couple of dogs, and one is a total face-smoocher. I have to admit that I judge people who get grossed out when she tries it on them, despite the fact that those are sometimes people I want to kiss me, AND that I've seen said dog eat poop.

Plus SO many jazz hands.

This will make a perfect demonstration for my grandmother, when she asks what the point of the internet is.

And finally, the SEBASTIAN:

Wake me up when there's a Rent-a-Tom.

I'd vote Carey Mulligan for this, but she'd well above a TV mini-series.

Deliberately missing the point comment: but rice smells GOOD!

Sadly, I've seen people scoff at homeless people wearing North Face (I live in Colorado, so there are plenty of used ski jackets donated). You really can't win. :-(

Oh, PLEASE let this be a musical. Let's see what rhymes with "devil's spawn..." (spoiler?)

"I've got a devil in my belly
Fire and brimstone, so smelly
Raped by a demon
Full of his semen****in Paaaaris!****"

Cue dance sequence.

I think it's pretty great. Anyone who gets that many people together for a multi-engagement photo and doesn't have a sense of humor about it is probably pretty insufferable.