“Look, I get it. I, too, would prefer not to be sexually linked with a man who looks like he could get sunburnt from a lightning bug.”

One day, the City Zoning Board comes for us all. 

Hoping someone with COVID dies is hurtful to a sick person and their loved ones, but it is not a threat of harm. It’s not even like hoping someone gets hit by a car, because while no one has it in their power to make sure someone gets a particularly bad case of COVID, they could theoretically inspire someone to get…

No doubt Twitter will be launching an extensive investigation into this state of affairs and get to the bottom of....oh hey everyone! It’s Hawaiian Shirt Day! Woooooooooo!

Jez, Jezzy, Madam Jezebel, are you there?

Those responsible for the moose lottery have been sacked.

Ah Maine, locked in an eternal battle with Rhode Island over who gets to be the Ringo of New England.

There is nothing concrete about 'best efforts'. That is what she meant by the contract having no substance; it defines nothing and hence promises nothing. 

LOL. Let’s talk trademark law. Trademark law doesn’t give a shit about when you file paperwork. They care about who was using the name commercially within the same industry. Anita White has been performing since the EIGHTIES as Lady A. Lady Antebellum has been around since 2006.

The real Lady A (the artist) had been performing with that name for 20 years before Lady Antebellum decided to cash in on BLM. She performed under that name and released albums, so how the fuck does the band have a “legal right” to the name if they didn’t use it/enforce it?

You’re right. The band with the obviously racist name should just be allowed to steal a name from a black performer if they want to. That seems quite reasonable and not at all ironic.

Imagine creating an organization that celebrates conspicuous consumption and unearned wealth and then having either the extreme self-awareness, or the extreme lack thereof, to call your organization One Percent.

The axe forgets but the tree remembers.

Was going to say, if only we had some kind of hard evidence of her racism and dumbshittery: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/feb/05/amy-pascal-leaving-sony-pictures-email-leak

Of course you don’t remember it, Amy, because, as the Sony leak proved, you say about a million dumbshit things a day. That’s way too many to keep track of or even be aware of the individual dumbshit content levels.

Agreed. The longer they are, the more useful they are as makeshift clothes.

It’s important to teach your children that life is horrifying and full of random tragedy at an early age.

Hey, stop that! The swallowtail horns only come out when they feel threatened!

Hot Take: Weddings are growing because as women gain power and money many choose to unapologetically do girly ass stuff with that money like wear awesome dresses and have a great party.

OK but how do I join W.I.T.C.H