Maybe he secretly liked it? Or, or just maybe, the whole reason for Crowell being such a grump is due to the constant calls. Maybe he'd be super nice if it weren't for those phone calls.

We used to call people and just flush the toilet. We thought we were hysterical. Call ID ruined everything.

I've been thinking about this, and i think i've come to a terrible terrible conclusion,

I dont want kids. Never did. I would be a horrible neurotic psychopath of a parent.

But what i realised, is when i say i dont want kids, i mean i do not ever, ever wish to birth one. The world is a shitty place and bringing more…

I want a BCO dedicated to customers that think they are at one restaurant but are actually at another like your Chipotle/Qdoba customers!

I have a sharp tongue. I'm also quick to apologize, which works well with adults, but not for kids. With kids what's said can't be taken back, and I don't think I'd be patient enough with my own kids. I also don't have a great model with my own parents; there are very few things that I would want to do similarly. I'm…

Jesus, it was like 8 SECONDS before I got preached to about polyamory.

What they're really saying -

I have a zero tolerance policy for people who tell me I would love my biological child the most, or implying that you can't love stepchildren, or that your feelings change when something is ripped from lions and/or loins. I'm adopted. What they're saying is that my parents didn't love me as much as their "real"…

I'm going to suggest parenting persons and non-parenting persons. We're all persons, and instead of being, in our essence, free of children or devoid of children, we are people who perform a function or not. I'm a parenting person, just as selfish as the rest of'em.

Hear, hear! This was great.

Personally, unless they brought the topic up, I wouldn't ask non-intimate friends. A lot of people are trying to conceive and can't, and the friends I know who are in this boat hate having to explain a really difficult and painful problem to every random person who asks.

Other than this blurb:

My husband and I are childless by choice, though not 100% that we're never doing it (I'd say 80/20, as my husband fell madly for our friends' 2 year old daughter, who ADORES HIM and thinks he's the best. That's why she's the smartest kid I know). I think he'd be a great dad. I think I'd be a shitty mother. I am often…

If people actually thought having kids were important, they would work to ensure maternity/paternity leaves are available. Children get education/food and basic rights. They get protected from bullying irrespective of orientation, sex or other characteristics. If children are important and if most people in the…

"who will take care of you when you're old if you don't have kids?"

I'm a parent and I've thought an awful lot about this and I think the "logic" is something like this: Being a mother is hard, therefore all mothers are selfless, therefore anyone who chooses not to be a mother is selfish. FWIW, I've also heard that all mothers are selfish. Poking at the squiggly mass of…

It's ironic how that works, because most of the people that have criticized my lack of interest in children seemed to have had them for selfish reasons: "What happens when you're old? Who'll take care of you?/Don't you want a mini-version of yourself?". My mother has even started hinting that she wanted grandchildren…

You wear more than me. Rub wet washcloth on face, rub drugstore moisturizer into skin, brush teeth, put on deodorant. Fin.

People often said to me "who will take care of you when you're old if you don't have kids?" Having kids is no guarantee a) that they will outlive you and b) that they will be willing or able to take care of you or c) that you will live long enough to want or need care.

I'm a parent. I did not have kids because I thought it was the right thing to do for the world. I had kids because I wanted them. It's probably the most selfish thing I ever did. Now that they are here I do unselfish things for them. But the having of them was definitely all for me.