I live in Amherst and teach at one of the Five Colleges. This is the correct take.

What the fuck is this shit my man?

Oh ya, the fields’ll hoover all that sound right up, doncha know.

Hello, Tomato Face!

This is an absurd statement to make.

Murders are half the rate before he took office? Not even close. There were 436 murders in Chicago in 2010, the last (full) year of King Daley. There were 650 murders last year.

If they have dicks they are men and should be sent to the slaughter! #metoo #dicksOUT

Please don’t ever stop posting.

Dirk is the latest incarnation  of well-known Gawker troll Tomato Face. Literally his only sincere aspect is his shtick of using screen names that are always somehow connected to the word ‘tomato’.

“Mostagree that boys turn into men around the age of 9, and therefore it is at that age that they are, or should be, legally-liable for the sexual assault they commit”

That’s funny, because the club I visited was full of friendly, welcoming people who wanted to share their sport with people who were interested in getting into it! Imagine that.

Most agree that the brain doesn’t finish developing until the age of 25, and therefore it is at that age that men and women should be considered adults.

i think i just switched my registration

I was almost offended... but then I remembered that you said “No offense”. Carry on friendly speed skater.

Now I’m going to get into speed skating just to annoy you. Then I’m going to never shut up about it and I’ll make every facebook/ insta/ snapchat post something speedskating related. Then I’ll act like I was into it the whole time and YOU are the johnny come lately. Then I’ll invite a bunch of hipsters to join me at…

Like the saying goes, you’ve never met an true ahole until you’ve met a Dutchman.

Home ... home ... home.

I like how Dutch people’s voices get really high-pitched when they get angry

This is weapons-grade kinja.

Maybe you should consider growing the fuck up.