Tamales. All the tamales. 

Two hours of my life I will never get back. Yes, I need a new doctor but I was almost out of meds. Now that’s done and I can find a nee GP. Thank you! 

I got video unavailable? Please help. I’m stuck waiting in a doctors office after they “lost” my appointment 

Megn Fox and Shia both seem to be terrible people. I wouldn’t want to be trapped in a conversation with either of them. 

Ok so I’m a huge sucker for a good lip stain so of course I clicked on the Bella Thorne link. The promo photos they are using for both shades are terrible. Wtf is with the chocolate smears on the face? Can I just get a picture of what it looks like on an actual person? Then I read the description, the texture is like…

Oh yussssss! Me and all of my little dippers fucking LOVE this show. They are gonna be hyped to hear this. 

Ugh. This guy. This movie looks terrible. 

It was a bizarre article. And the accompanying photo of them shopping at Walmart? Please. You cannot both have a closet of designer bags AND expect sympathy for “having” to shop at Walmart.

My brother in law sent my child a White Sox hat. We are a cubs household. The fuck, man. Not ok. 

I have never, and will never, whip out my dick and start masturbating in front of someone I haven’t already established that sort of relationship with. So no. 

Too fucking bad, Louis. You don’t pull your dick out in front of people who have not expressly asked you to. You did this to yourself. 

People need to stop comparing their birth experiences like it’s some kind of competition. It is not. Stop it. 

Oh I don’t know. Seems very on brand for her. 

Last years winner was an actual song and dance man. No one said shit about it. 

Uhhhh. Whoa.  That was really not good. 

That bathroom. Holy smokes. And I like how you can see her assistants in the background waiting to take over. 

OF COURSE they hang out. Of course. 

Imagine sitting there, having a cocktail, enjoying your evening. Then suddenly THIS GUY. You have got to be kidding me. 

In what alternate universe is La Lohan a “young girl”? Bringing a Barbie to life? Bizarre. 

My favorite cliche is “There’s a kid for every pot”. Mostly used to comment on the crazy ass couple pairings out there.