Thankfully we’ve taken the necessary steps to cap-tie Chris Wondolowski numerous times just to fully insure he doesn’t get away from the USMNT.

That photo can be a great head-shot in case the NBA doesn’t work out. Legit choice for a live-action Joe Camel.

Ok that’s mean. Let’s just say he looks like the love child of Vin Diesel and a missed three-pointer.

LaVar just voluntarily shipped half his family to Lithuania. Portland isn’t remote enough. Maybe Mongolian powerhouse Hovd Shonkhoruud?

No one in the last 30 years has earnestly tried to win them over to the left with real understanding of their problems. Probably worth a try.

You seem fun

We don’t have Jack in the Box where I live, but that seems like a lot of food for $4.20

Miguel Sano means no

In a pick-up game lebron would have plowed right through durant after a few of these loose fouls, but I don’t think he wants to carry the analogy that far

the game is the game, right?

I’m sure your view from the nosebleeds was good enough to make this call.

“I was at the game.”

“I really should have had that LeBortion.”

“History and God will judge Cardinal Law.”

“Now, I know he actively assisted in the molestation and rape of hundreds of children, but hear me out: this one time, he shook my hand and exchanged basic pleasantries like ‘I hope your mom doesn’t die’ and ‘miscarriages are sad.’ They pretty much cancel each other out, really.”

When he doesn’t get the ball, he goes crazy. He throws rocks.

Nice move by Kessel, but it’s a good thing she didn’t ask for one of his hot dogs (he keep three or four in various parts of his uniform at all times), because Phil wouldn’t have given her one.

The large white guy in a kimono definitely won’t stand out.

Not sure what’s “inadvertent” about his remarks. He’s choosing to go play in a better league instead of riding the pine in a lesser league. Pretty straightforward.