i just don’t understand what what’s so confusing about ‘stop’ and ‘knock it the fuck off’

I just wanted to read about the pretty cars, and then BAM!, Kinja crosslinks and internet arguments. It gets me every time. 1.Miatas, 2.Batman, 3.robots, 4.ways to break household objects, 5.men are terrible.

*yawn*

A nut? A Non-conformist, Underpaid Teacher? Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing.

Oh Tracy, what would we do without you posting controversial stuff on the weekends to keep us entertained? You’re a Jezebel treasure.
(I predict that this time it won’t be the regular Jezzies who get offended, but we will get an influx of possible MRAs and #notallmen’ers at some point, not to mention mansplainers.)

Thank you for taking note of my CUNT- Creativity, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent!

‘just ignore them! it works!’

The penis is the most powerful organ known to man. Women tend to be less impressed.

Mrs. Clinton, as I clearly said, can choose whatever title she likes. What chafes is the assumption in the comment I responded to. Please follow the conversation.

I am pretty sure that kid is gonna be a dork. Like in The Middle, where she says she named the kid Brick cause they thought that would make him cool, and he is the weirdest fucking kid ever? Like that.

It’s like comic sans and the disney font had a baby.

AND ALTHOUGH SEX ED COULD PREVENT THE PREGNANCY I’M SO FREAKED OUT ABOUT FROM EVEN OCCURRING IN THE FIRST PLACE I WILL OUTLAW IT BECAUSE OTHERWISE THESE UPPITY SLUTS WON’T LEARN THEIR LESSON!

THERE WILL BE NO LIMIT TO THE NUMBER OF WOMEN I WILL KILL IN ORDER TO KEEP THEM FROM ACCESSING MEDICAL CARE!

This is such goddamn fucking puritanical bullshit. It has me so irritated and incredulous that I can’t form a good response. Fuck this fucking shit.

Not to be annoyingly and pointlessly nit-picky, but wouldn’t Nelson Muntz fall into the bully/victim category not the bully category? Wasn’t he victimized by pretty fucking shitty parents?

Oh no beets, you just don't understand how humor works. Here, let me humorlessly explain it to you.

yes, obviously, this request is outrageous, and i was trying to make a joke, to highlight the ridiculousness about it. it didn’t work for you, but that is fine! oh well.

Apparently Lucky 13’s legal team is populated by 4chan users.

my three dogs are very upset for Peanut Butter. They are all crowded around my computer trying to solve this puppies problems.

Right, ok, but again this is in the context of Maxim which doesn’t, as far as I remember, really go for presenting varied things for a broad audience. Right? Like Maxim tends to present a sort of singular vision of what “hotness” is 12 months of the year and then when they do this they seem to notably diverge from…