Everyone knows human instrumentality was achieved in 2015. It’s a scientific fact.

As opposed to the mountains of green Jeep has been printing for years?  Nahh. 

MVP MVP! Jalopnik readers never disappoint.

well he’s molested fewer people than the current candidates, as far as i know

Ok Dodge. You know you have to do it. It’s the most ridiculous thing you have left.

At full throttle, the Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat Redeye consumes 1.43 gal/min (5.4 liters/min) of fuel – enough to drain the fuel tank in just under 11 minutes, yet is still rated at 22 miles per gallon (mpg) when driven in normal highway conditions

I can’t even be mad. Dodge is, and needs to continue milking this shit.

I want to feel sympathetic, and at the same time I can confidently say I never would have tried something like this when I was a young man.

Why, here’s my rant on this idiotic feature just last week!
https://jalopnik.com/1844044080
Also they’re brake lights, not “stop lamps”, and reverse lights, not “back up” lights. It is possible for a perceived authority to be wrong, just like the creator of the .GIF format who erroneously thinks it’s pronounced “jif”!

“They have agency to live elsewhere. They aren’t “forced” to live there.”

Remember that article awhile back about that old guy, who had hundreds of shitboxes and was being forced to finally clean up his crap? Shoutout to all the people pointing out that it was David Tracy from the future. How prophetic.

I have to admit the complainant is 100% right.
And i feel partly responsible-and likely others on this site do to- because i’ve at least once jokingly encouraged you to collect more vehicles.
But yeah,they need to go.Sorry man

I came to make some helpful suggestions, including an open-invitation wrench-in.

I mean, I get it. 12 busted cars is a lot. A whole lot. And calling them classics is really a stretch. And there’s 12 of them. 12. That’s not good.

“This $500 Jeep Comanche runs well. I’ve been driving it, and though it is insured, I still haven’t registered it due to COVID. This Jeep will remain my beater until I decide to move, at which point, it will go.”

I agree with them, sorry. Being the SUV equivalent of the Crazy Cat Lady is not the eyesore the neighborhood needs. It doesn’t make you a terrible person but a bit of a lousy neighbor. Finish a project and move on or get a big garage.

You have 12 vehicles?! That’s way too many. Take all the parts from the non running vehicles and combine them into a single operating vehicle.

I’m sorry, but I would have complained to.  If you want to do live like this you need to move to the middle of nowhere with multiple acres of land.

Shocking that a neighbor wouldn’t want their property value being brought down by the house with all the rusted out shitboxes scattered across the lawn.

i would report you to for running a unlicensed junk yard....how many of them are leaking oil or transmission fluid on the ground....next the EPA will be involved