What a woman actually sees. This and knuckle hair.

So now I should only hate her a little bit?

This is the only reason marriage gives you better odds of surviving just about any disease: Sometimes forcing your spouse to go to the Doctor is the only way to end their incessant whining.

Ugh. That crappy Train song. I thought "Endless Love" was the most cheesetastic song but Train keeps tapping the sap. Hard.

I'm waiting for the video of their wedding night where she tells her husband, "You must go deeper."

So noted but having worked in restaraunts, I have worked with dishwashers that get it done in 10 minutes or less. Of course they used heavy duty chemicals which caused my skin to become thin and papery. Still though . . .

Can someone explain to me why home dishwashers take so frakking long to wash the dishes. I'm quite confident I can wash all of my dishes by hand in a third of the time it takes my stupid washer. I mean, I won't but come on.

I'm willing to risk it. Still better than cleaning dishes by hand. Sponges gross me out.

Hearted for that. Nobody ever looks at the upside of black yeast. It's delicious and adds a subtle, nutty flavor to people with cystic fibrosis.

Abortion comedies don't test well.

I walked in it before it was cool to walk in it.

Yes, but did she sing "Rehab"?

Hey Debbie,

If you met my kids, I bet you'd change your tune. jk

Your mom missed the bus because she did not write it.

Spanking or loving a spouse more than your kid allow room for debate.

Wait, what about the plans for a Hovercraft you could build using parts from an old vacuum cleaner?

I guess you've never heard of the "stinky pinky".

I commend you on your original thought.