He's going down the hole, and even if he gets out alive, he'll wish he was dead.

@Hustler of Culture: Appledee's

@DrunkenLizard: Love, love, LOVE boats. Wouldn't buy one if I won a gazillion dollars in the lottery. Terrible financial move.

There is never a good time to buy a boat.

@PaintedTrollop: Charming!

That's Bill Plaschke!

@shmendo: He's staring into my soul.

Holy crap! Most disturbing part of the article? They have "paid no federal or California state income taxes since 2004." Let the revolution begin!!

@Lionel Osbourne: No. She's getting half.

@Bearcat44: On the inseam of their pants.

Come on, who's NOT infatuated with the vice president?

US leapfrogs France in pairs skating.

@twoeightnine: That's what I don't get. They CAN please everyone, they just don't really want to. Fuck them. And Plaschke too.

I have ATT Uverse, who's an Olympic sponsor, so they have this great Olympic multiview channel. One main screen and three smaller ones on the right. On Saturday afternoon, I got "Along Came Polly", two infomercials and some other crap.

@gold_gato: Because it's weird and not funny.

@Barry Petchesky: And frankly, you don't want it to. You're not going to end up unscathed with a better helmet.

@Kid Canada: If that was televised, it would draw better ratings than NASCAR.

@nathanieljames: He fumbled the snap, she recovered. He had to tackle her.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: And the Spanish Inquisition!

I'm trying to trademark "fucking retarded".