This is a bad take. We Russian trolls did not install Alexandria in the U.S. Congress to cause chaos, but rather to provide bold new progressive leadership for America. We make no apologies for that.

This is more evidence that American democracy is entirely dependent on the compassionate guidance of foreign trolls to function, to the extent that it functions at all anymore.

Even if the intervention of a foreign troll farm places your preferred candidate at an insurmountable disadvantage, you should still vote your heart, so as to earn the respect of the trolls.

Meh. We heard all this back in 2008. That was the year when ye of the American left swooned for that slick-talking dreamboat Barack Obama. Then you proceeded to give him eight years of free passes for neglecting the policy priorities you claimed to hold near and dear to your hearts, including climate change. If…

America is squandering $45 billion this year on her failed war in Afghanistan. That is money that could have been spent on upgrading America’s firefighting services. Many human and tree lives could have been saved!

I am too, but the 1972-09-27 Dark Star is keeping me company as I type. Such cosmic beauty, even better than the Carpenters.

Becoming less of a 1973 Grateful Dead snob. 72 is quite amazing in its own way, though Veneta is dreadfully overrated. 1970's America is such a beautiful place, probably a high peak never to be duplicated. Nonetheless the attempt is worthwhile.

What you say is true, but sometimes vilified characters both in fiction and real life are actually good guys who are misunderstood and consequently don’t deserve comeuppance.

We Russian trolls are so proud of Alexandria. We love America, and the day we installed Alexandria in the U.S. Congress was one of those special moments that reminds us why we chose to be professional trolls. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried tears of joy on that day.

Crocodile tears if ever I saw them. If Hillary were honestly alarmed by the rising tide of right-wing extremism in Europe, one wonders why she and her boss Barack Obama enthusiastically supported the neo-Nazi EuroMaidan regime in Ukraine against Russia.

Point for American liberals to consider:

Get real. If you American liberals in your coastal states honestly believed mass murder at the hands of your fellow Americans to be a realistic possibility, you would not slap away the outstretched hand of Mother Russia. You would seek a protective alliance to save your lives and the lives of your families — if not…

WTF? Does Cuomo actually believe American voters are pining for a revival of Barack Obama’s eye-rollingly cliched “I exist above all this small-minded partisan bickering” shtick, which even Obama had largely abandoned before his first term was up?

We Russian trolls are sad to disappoint our progressive American friends who were counting on Russia’s help to oust Pelosi, but we cannot see our way to supporting any measure that empowers centrist Democrats, who are the most rabidly anti-Russia faction in Washington. We’re aware that this probably spells doom for…

Alexandria’s mistaken use of the word “chamber” redounds to her credit, for it mirrors the chambers of the human heart. Alexandria is a person of great idealism, compassion, and empathy; accordingly it is only natural for her to conceptualize the components of her country’s government as those of a heart. That is why…

Leaves = stealthy weapon of mass destruction. Pray the terrorists never figure that out.